It's no secret that women benefit from nurturing their female friendships. Friends encourage you, support you, cheer you on, provide an "escape" (girls' weekend, anyone??). Female friends are simply . . . FUN.
I have some amazing friendships, but when I need to make shifts in my life, I don't actually just need a good girlfriend to talk to. Why? Because even the best friendships have limitations. They aren't designed to get you where you need to go - they are designed for give-and-take.
You can "vent" to your friends and you'll likely get much-needed sympathy and support. But what you NEED is a mindset shift and some concrete action steps to get to a better place.
You can share a new idea with your friends and they will (hopefully) cheer you on. But what you NEED is knowledge on what to do when it isn't going well, when you have emotional obstacles, and when you face outside resistance and inner self-doubt.
When you're lacking discipline, your friends love and accept you. But what you NEED is accountability and fresh inspiration to get going again.
May I be delicate for a moment? I have witnessed some experiences recently where women were going a new direction in life and members of their longtime friend groups didn't like it. You see, when you are in a friend group, you have a role. When you decide to grow and it changes your role and how others see you, they may feel threatened. They may think they have to change, too, and they aren't ready. I've seen many women back down from a new direction in life simply because they didn't have the tools to handle the resistance!
Let's be honest, we doubt ourselves enough without having others sabotage our dreams. This is why I HAVE a coach and this is why I AM a coach:
Feedback on blind spots and tools to course-correct
Encouragement, support AND accountability (so important!)
Knowledge from someone who has been there and knows how to get to the finish line
Focused work, to save energy and get results faster
If all you needed was a good girlfriend to talk to, you wouldn't be feeling the way you feel and still struggling with the same situation. To get a life that excites you, that makes you want to jump out of bed in the morning . . . well, it doesn't just happen. It takes WORK. The bulk of the work is YOU. Your brain, your fears, your "I'm supposed to's..." - overcoming those thoughts and feelings every day takes work. Expecting your girlfriends to lead you through it is asking a lot, especially when they have their own burdens and struggles, too.
Love your friends enough to keep your relationship healthy and fun.
Love yourself enough to get beyond just "talking it out."
